What Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman

by 11:43 AM 0 comments
On a Thursday morning, I found out I was pregnant, but Amir had asked me not to tell him the results of the test until after he came home from work because he had a big presentation that afternoon. So I was literally the only person in the world who knew I was pregnant, and I was also very low on prenatal vitamins. And I was craving a vegan baked good. I went to the Happiest Place on Earth, Whole Foods!

First of all, I have been buying prenatal vitamins since August, and no one has ever said anything to me about it. Ever. The first time I went to the check-out counter with them I was so nervous that I'd have to tell the whole story about how you're supposed to start taking them 3 months prior to pregnancy, but it turns out that cashiers aren't that interested/nosy.

But this time I went to check out with the prenatals, vegan donuts, a juice, and some pre-made Thai food. Because it was a celebration! The check-out guy was in his late twenties or early thirties, and our conversation follows:

Check-Out Guy (COG): (eying prenatal vitamins) Whoa...are these for you?
Me: Yeah...
COG: So, you're pregnant?
Me: Well, I just found out this morning, so you're the first person I'm telling, but yes! I haven't even told my husband yet.
COG: Oh. Were you guys trying?
Me: Yeah, we have been.
COG: So he's not going to be mad.
Me: No, I'm sure he'll be happy.
COG: Not like that State Farm commercial?
Me: Uhh, no. No, I'm sure he won't be like that.
COG: That's good. You know, he's like, 'no kids,' and then she's pregnant.
Me: Yeah, no, I know which one you're talking about.
COG: Cool. Well, congratulations. Would you like a bag?
Me: No, it's okay. I'll just carry it out. I can kind of stack everything.
COG: Are you sure?
Me: Yeah, eco-friendly option, haha!
COG: Okay.
Me: *drops items on floor*
COG: It's because you're pregnant! Here's a bag.
Me: I guess I'm not, umm, okay, thank you.

So that went really well!

State Farm commercial, if you haven't seen it:




Tips regarding etiquette:

*"Were you trying?" is a really inappropriate question to ask a pregnant stranger. For so many reasons.

*If a woman just found out she's pregnant, she likely has a lot of questions and anxieties on her mind, and she doesn't need anyone to suggest additional reasons to worry.

*If a woman is already worried that their partner is going to be upset about a pregnancy, the person that they want to confide in is probably not a cashier at Whole Foods.


Marina Gafni

Marina Gafni is a 28-year-old speech pathology student. She lives with her husband in San Jose, CA.

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